Is this catharsis? Everything is melting. Lives are being washed away. Planes come crashing down to earth. doors close, bolted shut forever.
The clock is ticking, but people will say 'this happens, its a part of life'.
I nod. But I'm thinking 'does it go downhill from here?'
Visual: me. on coke. shivering on a pavement somewhere.
Does death feel warm after a life like that?
Yes. smoldering. ha. ha.
But seriously. There's a crack in the door here.
'Say crack one more time.'
'Crack.'
It beckons. It doesn't say that everything will be alright. It says 'let go, I'll catch you.' It says 'won't you like to breathe?'
Imagine that. Not having to double guess anything.
Presenting me. as myself.
I nudge it slowly. It won't budge.
Imagine that? All this while fretting about it swinging open. Who knew?
move godamnit!
No.
Why not?
'gaari nayi hai'
What utter rubbish. Where's my pillow? I'm going to take a nap. standing up.
"its a small wonder."
Knock knock.
who's there?
me.
me who?
you. me; you.
